In the previous post “Blind Trust is a Weak Link in a Relationship”, I gave two examples of real life marriages that face the same financial challenging dilemma – yet, with polar opposite in quality of the bond between the partners.
Since the early days of our ancestors, life challenges have brought us out of water…
Brought us out of the continent of Africa…
Brought us to the moon…
And this life force is about to propel us to Mars!
If we, as a species, is going to expand outward to all possible places in the Universe – we must fortify our relationship here on earth.
Below is an anatomy of relationship that every single human ever graced the surfaced of the earth – had, currently or will experienced in part or parts of the whole.
We must learn to crawl, walk and eventually run!
This post we will focus on the “Family” part of the anatomy as depicted below.
A smallest denominator of a family encompassed two partners and a potential of creating a new life.
Since this is a follow up post of “Blind Trust is a Weak Link in a Relationship”, the discussion will be the relationship between the two major partners in a nucleus of a family.
The game plan to eliminate “Blind Trust” in a partnership will be organized in accordance to 1DesignerLife Framework –
- Relationship
- Financial
- Health
- Humanity
Relationship
The seed that spawns any part in the anatomy of the relationship is trust!
Since I am an engineer, I will equate trust as chance: a probabilistic value in nature – without, life would not have been seeded here on the planet earth.
Without this probabilistic value – I would not have met my wife of 29 years, 1143 miles away from where I was raised and educated.
I was an average and inexperience Electrical Engineer when I first crossed path with my wife. I was not wired a genius, as such John Nash in the “A Beautiful Mind” – with the mathematic background to calculate the success rate of my relationship.
I had to rely on “Blind Trust” on this newly formed partnership.
Let’s me clarify the meaning of “Blind Trust” in the above sentence!
Prior to the commitment to our marriage, I had three distinct bounded relationships with from three ethnicities within the population – A Caucasian American, a Vietnamese American and a Korean American.
It was the experience from the above relationships that I was able to quantify the metrics needed to be the foundation for the marriage that I am willing to commit.
Note – these are the metrics that I am looking for the potential in a lifelong partner – potential needs time to develop; unlike physical characteristics such as height, weight or the color of the skin.
In just few months into our relationship, I was able to deduce from my wife family members of their historical experiences with her over the years – she was dependable, simple and committed.
Here is the “Blind Trust” I have at the beginning of our marriage – if I am willing to bring dependability, simplicity and commitment to our relationship, my partner will reciprocate!
Having clear metrics, dependability, simplicity and commitment qualities to look for in a mate – “Blind Trust” is slowly eliminated from our relationship.
It has been 29 years and the verification of the trust continues!
Financial
As discussed in the “Blind Trust is a Weak Link in a Relationship” post, around the world, women are on the average faced financial hardship when their relationships with their partners failed – especially, in cases involved children.
In highly developed countries, financial opportunities are improving for women – primarily due to governances and regulations. Unfortunately, globally as a whole, we have yet arrived at the equilibrium.
The most critical financial understanding at the beginning of any relationship is…
It is the management of the transparency going forward that is going to eliminate or at least minimize the “Blind Trust”, the weak link in the relationship.
The mistake many women made is taking their eyes off the family financial management!
As a community anywhere in any country, women should be encouraged to discuss the financial aspect of a relationship to ensure the “Financial Transparency” is carrying forward in its entirety.
Ensuring all women and children are protected with financial security regardless of the relationship quality and outcome in the years ahead.
Regardless of culture values or the governance in the laws and regulations, all women must be involved with family financial management – regardless of which partner brings home the bacons.
Having the understanding of…
- The family sources of incomes
- The family banking
- The family investments
- The family expenses
Eliminating financial “Blind Trust” in the relationship as time – fortified the financial security for the partners and the involved children.
Health
Your sense of well-being is constantly assessed from within – the more keen of this sense, the greater insight of the individual’s health.
If your relationship with your life partner developed into a chronic stress over the years – you must evaluate all options going forward.
A popular definition of Insanity – doing the same and expecting a different result!
It is a “Blind Trust” that the chronic experience of stress in one or both partners will somehow disappear from relationship by…
- Continue to live and act the same lifestyles that brought on the stress
- Expect the other partner acts or behave in a particular way
Don’t you ever notice – the problem seemed to follow the person from one failed relationship to another!
A quality relationship magnifies the well-being of the individuals involved – but the source of origin of the well-being is fully embedded within the individual self.
Eliminate “Blind Trust” with regard to health in a relationship by…
- Having the mindset that your health, especially the psychological health, is originated from with the individual
- Fortify the relationship with the right partner to amplify your health
Humanity
It is depending the life journey that you and I have taken thus far, individually; each one of us will be the boundary of one of the part defined in the Anatomy of Relationship depicted in the illustration at the beginning of the post.
It is within the boundaries of these parts that you and I must have a clear understanding of our individual responsibility that if passionately executed – will add stability, harmony and life force to all of its members.
The best demonstration in words of individual responsibility was spoken by the 35th president of the United States, John F Kennedy – in the Inaugural Address on January 20, 1961.
This individual responsibility must be defined and executed with passion by the partners from within each of the relationship boundary.
It is the passion in whatever that you and I have accepted as our individual responsibility that will eliminate the sense of “Blind Trust” across the spectrum of the Anatomy of Relationship.
Let’s play the game of life!
