We can sit here and debate to the end of your existence about the quality of that relationship, but you cannot denied you have been created from a Man and a Woman – whose relationship was at its best at the moment of your conception.
If your parents’ relationship is among the minority, resilient and has the potential to make it as One Mate for Life – the connection in their relationship since the day they first met has grown in strength and quality.
Otherwise, it had ended because the connection of their relationship had withered and faded away.
In either scenarios –
Anything in life that possesses an organic characteristic can be nurtured for growth – no different that planting a seed that will eventually grow into a plan or tree.
Now that you have the fact that you have the capability to grow any relationship – here is brain teaser question for you – what type of a relationship do you want have in your life?
A picture worth a thousand words – the illustration below will visually help you see the detail of all relationships.
I have not met anyone and you will never find a person who loves, hates, struggles, seeks a relationship that is not inside a definable boundary as illustrated above.
All of your emotions from the beginning to the end of your existence will fall within the perimeter of one of these organic components.
Self – if you don’t have an intimate connection with yourself, how would you expect to have a quality and fruitful connection with any types of relationship outside the boundary of your skin?Let’s do an example of a love relationship, specifically and according to the illustration above – it is inside the boundary of Family.
It just meant, if the connection starting with the first grace has grown to the strength and quality for the possibility of procreation.
I am going to split the love relationship into 2 time intervals –
- Time interval 1 – falling in love from puberty to approximately mid 30’s
- Time interval 2 – falling in love from mid 30’s to end of life
Love is at its most intoxicated level is happened at the peak of puberty – by the law of nature.
Approximate 90% of the population will have the opportunity and GULPED the love potion brought to you by Evolution – because you are the 90Percenters.
Approximately less than 1% in the remaining 10% of the population did not drink the elixir and in time they became the Game Changers of the world – Bill Gates, Warren Buffet. This population of geniuses did not and will never experience and taste the love potion at its finest.
The 10% population minus the geniuses, the 10Percenters, took sips of the love potion and become the doctors, the lawyers, the engineers, the CEOs and entrepreneurs who build, run and manage the modern world in according to the Game Changers’ visionary foresight.
Congratulation to you if you have been invited to the love party from puberty to mid 30’s and was treated with the finest wine that have been aged for millions of years.
Within this time frame it is naturally for you to seek out for potential mate, with the potential to last for a life time.
DO NOT SETTLE, but here is a cautionary note – if you find yourself moving from one relationship to the next at the same pace as breakfast, lunch and dinner – you are spending an extraordinary amount of precious time to look for something on the outside to fit you without the intimate understanding of the Self within you.
Step away from the love party for awhile and invest a little more time to the relationship “Self” – only when you have some decent understanding of who you are, go back to the party and continue with the search for the one mate that is in-line with your internal values.
Note – when I said “love party”, it does not meant loud music, spilling and spreading of alcohols and drugs. Once you have a decent amount of understanding of yourself, have the courage at love in churches, at works, while jogging in the parks, family and friends gathering – the party is happening in the day to day living.
Of all the extreme ups and downs in emotional roller coaster rides, participation in the love relationship from the age of puberty to mid 30’s unequivocally will be the best time in your life – just because you a young, forgiving and untainted in character.
Again – take just a little time off to know yourself!
The next phase of love relationship is ranged from 30’s to the last day of your existence.
If you have not found the love of your life at this mile marker I will categorize you into 2 groups for purpose of clarity in discussion –
- Group 1 – You are physically aged, but your mind has not
- Group 2 – you are mindfully aged, and you know a little too much of yourself
If you are belonging to Group 1, you just need a little more time than the average population to get know yourself a little better – be patient and invest more time to understand your inner values.
If you are the members of Group 2, it is time for you to throttle back the amount of time you invested in exploring the inner “Self”, and allocated the precious time in the understanding of the person next to you.
The fact that you know so much about you – it is natural for you to seek out the perfect mate.
Let’s be logical about this with the puzzle analogy above – you are good at assembling puzzles because you invested an extraordinary of time to study the missing shapes in the puzzle.
Here is the question for you – how many times have you found a puzzle piece and it fitted perfectly in the shape in just one try?
Regardless how thorough, diligent, resourceful and intelligent you are as a person – you have to take a chance!
When you know a little too much of yourself – you are working to reduce the probability of finding your One Mate For Life.
Here is a mathematic proof of that statement.
You understand who you are – naturally, you will have a list of requirements.
- He/she must be rich
- He/she must be tall
- e/she must be educated
- He/she must be handsome/beautiful
- He/she must like sports
- He/she must like shopping
- He/she must like traveling
For each of the requirement, the population of possible mates gets smaller – it is simple math.
This is why many professionals who spent the first 30 to 40 years of their lives to chase after the careers and self-servings related activities – found out it is very challenging to be in a relationship with another person later in life.
As you get older – you have too many self-serving requirements that work against you in any relationship – especially the intimate ones.
(Relationship – How to Grow Your Relationship with Anyone, Anything, Anywhere and Anytime! Part 2)
Let’s play the game of life!
