Two “Selves” with two sets of Self-Complexity Odyssey is the nascent foundation of all families.
The two distinct boundaries encompassed each Self genetic expression through the early days of conditioning by the external factors – with the Parents as the primary.
The expressions ranged from physical traits such as weight and height to temperament and personality that translate to action and behavior such as love, caring, ambition, lazy and xenophobic.
The primary force that brought the two Selves in proximity with each other at the beginning was built-in drive toward the act of intimacy that ultimately leads to procreation – this is how the Game of Life is unfold from Puberty to the Family years (12 to 35 years of age for most).
The cultural values, money, power and status play a greater role later in life.
Hence all love stories ever told, currently in progress and will materialize in the future is driven by the “survival of the fittest” built-in tendency in all life forms.
The small percentage of the pairs of the two “Selves” were able to escape the reciprocate nature of the “survival of the fittest” framework and their love stories become the gold standard to for the upcoming generations.
This article will lay the pathway toward the greatest love story ever told.
For many confusing “Selves”, they were springboard into an intimate relationship with the primordial biological drive with the assistance of cultural specific values set of inventions – music, movies, folklore and ritual traditions.
You will never find a lion or a gazelle day dream of the perfect wedding at the Pristine Chapel Lakeside – it is all driven by the primordial biological hardwiring for the purpose of procreation.
This is the basis for many young relationship failures for the upcoming generation. Within this cohort, most young men are driven by the act of seed spreading, whereas, most young women are driven by the pretense of eternal love – the men will stick around for the responsibility after the ultimate deed.
At Puberty, most lives are and will participate in the Game of Life with the same rule of engagement. Men spread seed and women protect the investment – the play takes off like wild fire fuels by the endless supply of love hormones.Fortunately, maturity and culture will catch-up for the majority of the population. Most men will stick around and assist with the investment and most women will have more experience in weeding out the extreme outliers – the ultimate seed spreaders.
There are two epic battle of the sexes strategically are placed at two markers for the majority of the population –
- The Puberty
- The Midlife Crisis
In the first major battle at Puberty, the overall final score is in favor of the men population. Interesting enough, it is the second battle at Midlife Crisis that will determine the ultimate victor, the women population – statistically, women live longer than men in most places around the world.
Scholars began the rudimentary examination of game theory in the 1930s and by 1950s the field has garnered considerable investment effort from the scientific community. By the 1970s, the theory found its application in the field of biology.
The fundamental fact deduced from hundreds of thousands simulation of mathematics models in trying to find the best game strategy along with predictions and field tested revealed a sad truth – most of us will make decision base on “Self” interest so much that it virtually eliminated the probability of picking an optimal path toward a long lasting and meaningful relationship.
Fig 2 is illustrated two “Selves” are intimately gravitate toward each other and having a desire to growth their relationship.
Yet, the two participants in the relationship play are conditioned in early on to have different preference on activities. Fishing and shopping are chosen for this example, but any set of endeavors can be used in replacement.The word “conditioned” is emphasized because they are learned activities the “Self” has been cultured from the interaction with the external surrounding – there is no such “love fishing gene” or “love shopping gene”.
If there is an isolated tribe in the world where “shopping” is culturally taught as a “man activity”, inevitably most men in this tribe will grow up to have “shopping” as a preference activity.
In our example, XY loves fishing and XX loves shopping. Quadrants A scored the level “10” utility for XY since this is XY’s preference activity and vice versa for XX with “shopping” as the chosen event.
Both quadrants in the matrix are scored with the level “5” utility for the other participant who happened to land on the non-preference activity.
Level “5” utility is employed here to demonstrate the essence of growth of the relationship – the two participants are doing, sharing and experiencing life activities together.
Quadrants “B” and “C” are scored with the level “0” utility as the two participants are living separated lives.
All relationships in figure 3 requires shared endeavors for growth over the span of time – most importantly the Family.
This is the basis for all slowly faded and eventually failed relationship after the birth of the children. The two “Selves” went onto their separate Self-Complexity Odyssey – there is not an endeavor for the two “Selves” to have a share common future.
Every relationship fundamentally started out with the primordial “survival of the fittest” framework.
Very few utilized the opportunity to transition into meaningful and non-conditional state of intimacy and become the basis for all Cinderella love stories that cross the barrier of a natural life span.
The strength of any Family relationship is the determined by the quality. The summation of all serial marriages throughout a life time will not have the same value in quality as the one for life.
When we are not happy with one company and move to another, in most cases, the money looks and smells the same – this is not true when it comes to relationship.
Should we strive for the ultimate one-for-life relationship?
The default answer should be an astounding yes while everyone is wading through the Self-Complexity Odyssey.
The correct answer will become more apparent as the veil of life is slowly lifted in time.
Let’s play the game of life!
