A life with full of passion will leave a little or none of the space for regret and guilt.
Humans are much more biological than we are consciously capable of recognizing this fallacy in ourselves – meaning, we are unconsciously governed by the happy chemicals in our system.
In reality, very few of us are capable of delay gratification indefinitely.
Guilt and regret are the culture layered over the biological foundation.
After biological battled over culture and won – the “I should have…”, “I could have” surfaced after the smokes and fires had cleared from the battle ground.
This is a conundrum repeated through our lives every time we are trying to reach the ideal peak of ourselves.
The solution to the vicious cycle is the 1Designer Framework. The framework is a proactive solution that harnesses the essential areas of our lives with preset metrics – critical decisions are to be made when the each of the metric is triggered.
I crossed the financial independence mile marker in the summer of 2012 after ten years of executing the game plan.
The detail of the game plan composed of three critical areas of my life – financial, relationship and health.
In each of these areas, I set up KPIs (key performance indicators). The KPIs ensure stability in the path toward growth and progress.
For example, in the financial area – the KPI is the financial independence target. This must be a personal number using the financial tools and the financial capability to calculate. The financial capability mentioned here is my personal stat that has been in execution all along.
Here is a brain tease – the majority of the general population does not know this personal number. Many of them are looking at someone else number. Hence, their failures are similar to the workout and diet enthusiasts.
In the health area – the KPI is my physical and mental health. Am I excited to get out of my bed every morning and physically take on the day to day challenges? The obstacles and huddles that are preventing me from getting to the financial independence target in the specified time.
In the relationship area – the KPI is the number of friends and family I would like to have in my life in the financial independence journey.
There is no such thing as a perfect executed plan!
After ten years in execution, armed with the KPI, I clearly see that the relationship area is lagging behind. I lost many friends and family members. Not because I neglected this area, as a matter of fact, I allocated an extraordinary of my time and financial resources into fortifying the personal circle of relationship.
Of little or no avail, many of these personal relationships were destined to fail. We grew apart (Why the Path to Financial Success is a Lonely Road!).
As soon as I crossed the financial independence mile marker in the summer of 2012, I knew the ten years financial plan is at the end of its shelf life by looking at the KPI I had setup in the relationship area – I had out run both my wife and my daughter.
In the last 7 years, I have redesigned the game plan with new set of KPIs in the three areas.
I allocated substantial more time and financial resources toward my wife and daughter. Not because of guilt and regret due to neglect, but I came to the understanding that they are not built from the same genetics and experiences as I – and that they just need more of me in their lives.
As of now, the KPI signals that we are not drifting apart, but my wife and I are growing closer. It not meant we are agreeing on everything, but slowly and surely we are looking and walking down the similar life path – not yet the same path, it is a progression.
My daughter is four years behind her peers, but she is catching up with an incredible momentum (I realized that I am not giving you the parenting specific example, but more of the generalized relationship perspective). Fathering is the more specialized and sacred relationship, but if it is filtered though the scientific methods, it followed the same rules.
I woke up every morning with sense of jubilation greater than ever and a woody in my boxer that I have lost at the same financial independence mile marker (please forgive me of the erotic vulgarity here – it is a personal KPI in the health area).
In the last 20 years, the framework forced me to passionately put everything on the table systematically in the critical areas.
The real effort dished out every single day without any reservation and hold backs is the testament of my sincerity – without the guarantee of 100% perfection.
When the sun comes down to signal the day is over, my mind is racing toward tomorrow with the conscious awareness that I have put time and resources in the essential areas – that mindset connection to tomorrow has no room for regret and guilt of the day or days just passed.
The framework along with the set KPIs allowed the adjustment of the game plan to avoid pitfalls as they revealed along the way toward our individual passion.
Passion is a specialized relationship within the self. It has the beginning and within time it grows into meaning and purpose – it is what makes a life blossom to the fullest.
Many people mistake passion with the biological drives – primordial hunger, mate and safety. Passion is birthed once the primordial needs are met – hence financial independence is critical after the responsibility of parenting is over.
Passion is the only effective vaccination for the virus of guilt and regret.
As I said at the beginning – there is not any space for regret and guilt in a life that is full of passion!
Let’s play the game of life!
