When the word compassion arose in my mind, the images of the great humans of the past and present came into my consciousness – Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King and the Dalai Lama.
These great leaders shaped the world with their endless compassion for humanity.
But are you aware that compassion is an essential virtual for a long lasting intimate relationship? – A one mate for life!
The picture below illustrated the anatomy of relationship that everyone will have a chance to experience within a life time – we will discuss how compassion helps build that third circle, the Family.
A family is an essential unit in all societies across the globe. This relationship structure is the birth place for everyone and a foundation for launch toward all endeavors – be it another family, an entrepreneurship or just a journey of self-discovery.
Let’s define the typical social make-up of a family – a man, a woman and a minimum of one child.
First, we are going to exam, why compassion is essential for a long lasting marriage between a man and a woman.
We are living much longer than the previous generations.
Prior to the British Industrial Revolution in the 1760, the majority of the world population, men and women lived and died within the lifespan of approximately 35 to 40 years.
Biologically, most of us are wired to cross the puberty line approximately in the 12th to 15th year of age – this hardwired window has not changed for hundreds thousands of years.
For 99 percents of the population, the drive to find mates for the purpose of procreation is the natural norm. This drive was unyielding in the past. It is unyielding now and it will be unyielding in the future – it is the ultimate natural law of order.
An average person who lived in this era, had approximately 23 to 28 years to find the appropriate mean of making a living, find the desirable mate, procreate and nurture the offspring to term – for an average human being, puberty is the duration in term.
For example, let’s randomly pick an average man anywhere around the world within this era who crossed the puberty line at the 12th year of age. He secured a job and found a mate at 18.
The couple son and daughter came into the family one year later, and let’s say the pair was fully committed to nurture and care for the young just as their parents – the man would be 36 years old when the responsibility was completed and his mate was few years behind.
At this stage of the game, the days are numbered for the couple in this example.
We are living at a much higher standard than the previous generations.
In addition to the short lifespan, the previous generations had fewer choices in their day to day living – scarcity in resources required long hours of toiling to meet the demands of a growing family.
Very few had the time for self-reflection and the opportunity for personal pursuits – meeting the basic essentials, foods, shelters, protect and care for the young were 100% taxed in time and resources available for most couples.
At the gym I am frequented, many people spent 1 to 2 hours working out and basking on the luxury benefits – dry and steam saunas, Jacuzzi, swimming pool. Many of them are young and at the prime of their lives.
Their great grand parents would not be able to have the same lifestyle in their dreams – ironically, most of the young in the new generation do not feel the exponential rise in the standard of living.
Collectively, they are pushing for the forever greater freedom in self-expression.
It is this critical mass of the population that succeeded in the negotiation for their personal endeavors that crossed path with the family structure from the previous generations.
Facts at this cross section –
- Most of you will live much longer than the time requires to build a full-fledged family – in comparison to the previous generations
- Many of you will have more promising opportunities to build your personal legacy on top of the procreation requirement – in comparison to the previous generations
The challenge for many of you is clear – how are you going to maintain the integrity structure of your family in the pursuit of your personal endeavor?
There are millions possible answers – but the ultimate is Compassion!
Googling definition of compassion – “…sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others…”
TheEngineer physicalize definition of compassion –
Let’s explore the reasons that compassion is essential for a long lasting marriage and an everlasting bond with your children.
We are a survival of the fittest species.
As long as you are alive and breathing, you and I will strive for survival. The strive is slightly different from one person to another, but the patterns are predictable –
- Strive for more money
- Strive for more love
- Strive for more health
- Strive for more legacy
Anyone who is a threat to your personal strive is your competitor – in worst cases, your enemies.
For example – if you are striving for more money, but your mate and children are heavily depend on for financial support, slowly and surely you will see them as the protagonists to your financial goal.
For example – if you are striving for more love, but your mate and children are in tuned with the consumerism lifestyle, slowly and surely you will see them as the protagonists to your relationship goal.
For example – if you are striving for more health, but your mate and children are in lined with hedonistic lifestyle, slowly and surely you will see them as the protagonists to your healthier lifestyle goal.
For example – if you are striving for a greater legacy, but your mate and children are living in the now, slowly and surely you will see them as the protagonists to your legacy goal.
Out of the four, financial is ranked as the number one culprit that has clout to destroy the integrity structure from 90 to 95 percents of families.
Compassion is the ultimate solution for a long lasting marriage and an everlasting bond with your children.
Compassion gives you the humility to see that you are a part of the Family and not the maker of the Family.
Compassion gives you the strength to accept your mate and children in totality – the good, the bad and the ugly.
Compassion gives you the wisdom to design a sensible plan that is inclusive of the people who matter most to you – regardless of personal endeavor.
Compassion gives you the patience, the peace and serenity to live life as a journey and not a destination – the living of here and now.
It is time for you to nurture and grow the compassion from within – the good life is straight ahead!
Let’s play the game of life!
